Ephesians 4:25–32 . . .

“Seven Specific Steps to Live Righteously”

In our previous study covering 4:17–24, Paul encouraged his readers to create and sustain unity and maturity in the church body in holiness by “putting off the old self” and “putting on the new self.” He chided his followers of Christ on how they were living an old pagan lifestyle causing them to become alienated from God, unable to make moral judgments or discriminate between good or evil. He then reminded them of their new standing in Christ.

Today, we’ll see Paul demonstrate how the Ephesian church body had already walked successfully in purity, holiness, and righteousness. Thankfully, he’ll provide us herein his how-to instructions (a.k.a. exhortations). We’re going learn what it means to “put off the old self” and then “put on the new self.” He sets this up using a group of contrasts that exhort us to no longer do this but instead must do that. Note: This isn’t merely a behavior change. Our actions come from the renewing of our mind (4:23). When the mind is no longer affected (afflicted) by the world, sinful behavior can be prevented; righteous behavior can be adopted.

Apostle Paul wrote extensively about the character and conduct of believers. He said in this letter that Christians are to “walk in a manner worthy of [our] calling” (4:1) and “be imitators of God” (5:1). Throughout it, he explains what it means to live a godly life. He’ll now describe what “the renewed mind” and “a new self” look like and present principles upon which a believer’s life is to be built. He’ll go from the general to specifics, getting quite practical in his teaching. Take all of his seven specific steps to effectively put on your new self and live righteously in Christ.

Instruction #1 of 7: Speak Truthfully (4:25)

In 4:17, Paul told us not to live and behave like the world lives. Starting in v. 25, he’ll highlight seven sinful characteristics that we must put off and then replace with holiness acts. Each listed sin uniquely works to destroy unity in the church body.

First: Stop lying. Speak only the truth (v. 25). Long ago, Augustine (AD 354–430; church father and writer) wrote a lengthy treatise on lying. He opens his book with, “There is a great question about LYING,” which confronts and troubles us every day: whether “we rashly call a lie that which is not” or decide whether a white lie can “be a kind of honest, well-meant charitable lie.” To answer this question, we must search our motives as to whether our words are spoken “to any good purpose.” Augustine’s position is that all lies are sins, and therefore one should never tell a lie. We need something written like that again today. We are becoming far too accommodating towards “white lies” or “spins,” or it being only “a matter of perspective” or telling “our truth,” rather than striving to tell “the truth.”

Truth speaking requires a renewal of the mind. Everyone can become a habitual deceiver without knowing it. Over time, we become so used to not being honest that that behavior becomes the norm. Paul exhorts his readers to learn to speak truthfully to others, doing that continually. Otherwise, people will get hurt and will no longer rely on or trust one another.

Don’t take lightly the fact that Christians are to speak the truth in love! We belong to one body (v. 25b) — Christ’s church body. When we love one another in the body of Christ, we shouldn’t deceive or lie to anyone. That would destroy the unity of the body of believers. Even in the midst of our gain or profit, we must insist on speaking the truth in love.

Don’t Sin When Angry (4:26–27)

Paul goes on to command his readers: Do not let anger be mixed with sin! We often feel angry. However, such anger doesn’t authorize us to act sinfully.

Second: Do not sin when you’re angry (vv. 26–27). Paul began v. 26 using an excerpt from Psalm 4:4, which states, “Be angry and do not sin; on your bed, reflect in your heart and be still.” Throughout Psalm 4, the psalmist was facing fierce opposition, criticism, and slander. In response, he naturally felt anger. Note: It’s not a sin to feel or be angry. The truth is that there are certain circumstances in which it’s right to feel anger because God himself feels anger. However, when our anger turns to wrath or breeds bitterness, it can lead to taking sinful, damaging actions against others. When it runs hot, we’re to become peaceful immediately and apologize quickly.

Paul shows in vv. 26–27 God’s principle for preventing long-term bitterness. The key is to deal with this emotion promptly: “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Incidentally, Plutarch (AD 46–119; Greek historian and philosopher) tells us that disciples of Pythagoras (570–490 BC; famous and controversial ancient Greek philosopher) had a rule of their society: If, during the day, anger had made them speak insultingly to each other, before the sun set they shook hands, kissed each other, and were reconciled.

It’s important to realize that believers can have moments of anger and still remain right with God. Yet, anger that lingers and festers is an opportunity for Satan to hand people excuses to harbor fury that creates a stronghold in their life. It’s a foolish person who allows anger to reside in his or her heart (Ecclesiastes 7:9).

The wise believer takes a two-fold approach to dealing with anger. First, heeding the Bible’s many warnings about this dangerous emotion and being vigilant against it. Second, forsaking your anger in favor of forgiveness.

Stop Stealing; Speak Encouragingly (4:28–29)

In his next verse, we find Paul’s rendering of the significant change that occurs when a person learns about, identifies with, and relates personally to Christ Jesus: The one who steals transforms into a worker who benefits others through his or her actions.

Third: Do not steal. Work honestly (v. 28). Here we see Paul’s reference to the eighth commandment: “You shall not steal.” Because some Ephesians had been stealing continually, he ordered them to steal no longer. He added these encouraging words: “[You] must work, doing something useful with their own hands.” Therein, he’s discouraging idleness, which sometimes creates thievery. He wants the church body to work with integrity and honesty (Colossians 3:23) “that they may have something to share with those in need.”

Fourth: Speak only what is wholesome and helpful (v. 29). This is another of the apostle’s practical admonitions / warnings / exhortations. The tongue is a very dangerous body part. It must speak the truth; never what is filthy! Dirty talk is one of the devil’s devices he uses to corrupt people. Paul has a much deeper focus in this verse than on the prevention of cursing: What comes out of the mouth is a reflection of what’s in your heart (Matthew 15:18; Proverb 4:23). This “Do not let any unwholesome talk” phrase ties in with the previous instances in which Paul has challenged his readers: (1) Don’t lie, but speak truth in love; (2) as you harbor anger, don’t sin; and (3) do honest work instead of sinful acts.

Paul warns the Ephesians (and us) to never engage in filthy talk! Rather, we’re to speak to one another in encouraging ways, building up people as needed as we display the grace and mercy of Christ Jesus. We’re to use our speech organs to help uplift people “according to their needs.”

Never Grieve the Holy Spirit; Forgive One Another (4:30–32)

There are many ways to grieve the Holy Spirit. We can neglect holiness and grieve him. And we can think in purely materialistic terms and grieve him. The Holy Spirit of God exalts Jesus (John 15:26); when we fail to exalt Jesus, we grieve the Spirit.

All of these things in which Paul writes grieve the Holy Spirit; they aren’t pleasing to the Lord. We’re called to be holy because God is holy (1 Peter 1:16;Leviticus 11:44–45). We’re made in God’s image and likeness; our lives are meant to be a testimony about Christ that we present to others. What does your life say to others about Jesus?

Fifth: Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God (v. 30). Paul has been unpacking what’s required for believers who’ve put on their new self to live in a manner worthy of our calling to be unified in Christ. in the middle of his exhortation, he throws in v. 30 to remind us of who we are and what our sins do to us and others. Because Paul confirms in 1:13–14 that we’ve been sealed with the promised Holy Spirit who acts as a deposit that guarantees our inheritance, we grieve the Spirit of God when we sin and don’t put off the old self.

So, who does our sin grieve ultimately? Holy Spirit! Believers must never grieve the Holy Spirit by failing to put off our old self and adorn our new self.

Sixth: Avoid six sinful acts (v. 31). First, is bitterness, a defect in our attitude which can cause trouble with other people (Acts 8:23; Romans 3:14). Paul’s second flaw to “get rid of” is “rage” (or “wrath”), which is anger that boils over to the point of controlling us, causing us to act wildly or carelessly. Third, Paul notes a worldly type of persistent, often habitual “anger,” which results from frustrations in life; once we know the source of our anger, it’s time to forgive; forsaking anger means walking in God’s will with a light step. Fourth, Paul lists “brawling” (or fighting, clamor, quarreling); harsh contentions and strifeful brawls are to be forbidden Acts 23:9. Paul’s fifth sinful act to avoid is “slander,” which involves speaking false evils or lies about others. And, sixth, Paul adds “malice” (Greek kakia), which implies evil intent to deliberately harm or intend to injure. Malice is an attitude that leads to revenge (Proverb 20:22; Romans 12:19).

Seventh: Forgive one another (v. 32). Showing mercy to those who hurt us doesn’t come naturally. It’s easier to get angry at them and remain that way. An unforgiving attitude can have ail sorts of unwanted consequences. The longer we hold on to our anger, the more it will affect our fellowship, not only with people but also with Father God. Paul is telling us in v. 32 that God calls us to forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

Forgiveness is a choice — an act of service to the Lord, a witness to the person who inflicted our pain, and a necessary step in our healing. No matter how terrible the acts committed against us were, God requires that we show mercy. For our good and his glory, he wants us to give up the “right” to punish those who hurt us.

Paul concludes this call for a Christian heart and life by reminding us of the hope that we have. We are sealed and set apart by God (for those who believe in Him).  He reminds us to , “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” (vs. 32)

We all struggle with some form of ungodly behavior. But, happily, we need not continue in it. As new creations, we no longer have to be defined by who we were before receiving the gift of salvation (2 Corinthians 5:17). To exhibit the righteousness that’s yours, cooperate with the Holy Spirit’s transforming work in you.

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